yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she smelled like a LAN party
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
