You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Welp...herpes.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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