I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
