It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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