Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.

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(661): View more from California

I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.

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(917): View more from New York City

How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?

Fav 11 1977 1516
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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

Fav 4 1954 852
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm off the liquor

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

Fav 7 2314 963
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(520): View more from Arizona

Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.

Fav 1 204 118
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(316): View more from Kansas

You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows

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