There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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