i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
