Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
