cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
