There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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