We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
