My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think i have two assholes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
