i just wanna soil my oats bro
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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