theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
