After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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