we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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