i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize