it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
