i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
