i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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