I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just had sex bonerless
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
