I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
