He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
