He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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