so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
