I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize