Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
