found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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