Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
