I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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