I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
