well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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