So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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