Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
