just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
