Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
