Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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