is your mom at the bar?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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