tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
