# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize