you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
