Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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