You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
