How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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