Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He better not be in your backpack
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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