Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
