its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
smell my finger.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
