My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
