I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
