I love black thongs
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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