When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
