The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
