I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
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I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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